So I’m pretty sure I’m going to graduate in December. I’m not really upset about this, just with the superficial idea that I’m graduating a semester later than my friends, which is not important. In order to graduate in August, a full copy of my thesis is due by Monday, which I just don’t feel comfortable doing. I don’t want to rush and publish a thesis that feels unfinished. I think if I take a couple more weeks and finish by like,  July 1, then I will feel like my work is more coherent and polished. I don’t have any other scholastic obligations, so why rush to finish in the next week when I can take my time and have something I feel comfortable submitting to PhD programs? I just emailed my advisor about this, so we’ll see what she says, but right now I’m thinking it’s the best idea for me.

I’m going to be okay with this.

I’m starting to feel like I’m never going to finish this thesis. I’m about ready to at least resign myself to graduating in the fall rather than the summer. I still have so much to do, my advisor is probably overwhelmed by other procrastinators as well as myself, and I just don’t think it can all be done by June 11. No way.

This is how my days have been: wake up, coffee, anxiety, write, anxiety, write, anxiety food, write, anxiety, write, food, anxiety, write, food, continue until bed. Then repeat. Oh, and also crying. Anxiety leads to crying and eating my feelings. At least once a day.

I’m seriously about to surrender my academic fate and give up.